Elixir Tricksters
by TheBookRider
Summary: With finals coming up, Dex manages to convince Sophie, Biana, and Fitz to take a new version of nogginease. The triplets switched elixirs on Dex, and now the three are stuck speaking in the different verb tenses until Dex can find another elixir to fix it! One shot. Written for a school assignment.


**Elixir Tricksters**

"Good morning, ladies!" Keefe Sencen chirped, plopping down at the lunch table that Sophie Foster, Dex Dizznee, Fitz Vacker, and Biana Vacker were already sitting around.

Sophie frowned at him. "Aren't you supposed to be in detention?" she asked.

Keefe ran a hand through his already messy blond hair. "Yeah, but Sir Astin is in charge today and listening to dwarven music is like listening to a banshee."

"I pity you," Fitz joined in, rolling his teal eyes.

Sophie hid behind her blonde hair and peeked around the cafeteria, just waiting for an angry mentor to phase through the walls and chew them out.

"Relax, Foster." Keefe flapped a hand in the air between them. "You worry about everything."

"Empaths," Dex grumbled, staring down at his lunch tray.

Sophie nudged him with her elbow and gave him a smile. "Technopathy is a cool ability, you know," she reminded him. Dex didn't like his ability, but once one was triggered, you couldn't turn it off. Sophie had tried, too, being the only elf with five abilities.

Biana snapped her fingers. "That reminds me, Dex. Do you have a new elixir for Iggy?" she asked hopefully, turning to him.

The pet imp was actually Sophie's, but Biana had taken a liking to it once Dex had dyed the imp's fur orange and she was constantly trying to get Dex to change the color.

Dex grinned, perking up instantly. "No, but I have something else for you guys."

"What?" Fitz asked warily. Elixir pranking was quite common among the prodigies at Foxfire, so he had good reason to be worried.

"Nothing bad," Dex assured him, pulling out several elixir bottles from the ankle pockets of his school uniform.

"What's the fun in that?" Keefe sulked.

"Is it for finals?" Biana asked, leaning forward and getting her hair in Fitz's face in her attempt to see the bottles in Dex's hands. Fitz spat it out in disgust.

Finals were coming up, Sophie realized, and the butterflies in her stomach started doing somersaults. She was horrible at most elf things and barely passed alchemy midterms.

"Relax, Foster," Keefe reminded her. "I can feel your panic all the way over here."

Sophie tugged out an eyelash, a nervous habit she couldn't banish. The prospect of flunking out of Foxfire hung over her head like a balloon and finals were the worst. "What do you have, Dex?" she asked, not wanting to think about the quandary anymore.

"Nogginease!" Dex declared, dimples showing up on his cheeks when he smiled.

"Can't," Sophie said immediately. The last time she had tried Nogginease, she had almost died from a severe allergic reaction because it contained limbium.

Keefe laughed. "Are you _trying_ to kill off Foster?"

"It doesn't have limbium in it. I brewed up a special batch for Sophie." Dex shook the bottles and liquid sloshed around inside them.

"We can't use this during finals," Fitz said, taking one of the bottles to inspect it. "It would get us expelled."

"Maybe it's like training wheels," Sophie suggested, thinking back to her childhood in the Forbidden Cities.

"Training wheels?" Fitz asked, clearly puzzled by the unfamiliar term.

"On bicycles," Sophie explained. Sometimes she forgot elves didn't have things like bikes. "They stabilize the bike while you pedal until you learn to get your own balance."

Biana wrinkled her nose. "Sounds weird."

Keefe handed the bottle he had swiped back to Dex. "Dex, as much as it pains me to say it..." He paused dramatically. "...I can't."

Dex frowned. Sophie could see his feelings were hurt.

Keefe grinned. "Don't take everything so hard, Dizznee! I accidentally broke a jar in Elementalism and had to go to Elwin. Don't want to mix elixirs."

"And you get onto me for being clumsy!" Sophie commented.

Dex still looked disappointed. Sophie racked her brains for a way to cheer him up.

"We'll try it, won't we, Fitz?" Biana kicked Fitz under the table and shooting Sophie a look.

"Sure!" her brother and Sophie were quick to agree.

Brightening, Dex passed out the rest of the elixir bottles to them. They took off the corks and drank it all at once.

"Interesting..." Biana grimaced.

"What did you put in this, Dex?" Fitz asked.

"Just a couple of ingredients around the shop. How does it feel?"

"Oh, it's definitely interesting." Biana had a peculiar expression on her face, like someone had shoved an onion in front of her nose and she was trying not to cry.

Sophie felt the same way. It was like her brain became electrified or electric eels were squirming their way through it. "It will feel like I will get electrified. You will wait, what?"

"What did you say?" Fitz ogled at her.

"It will feel like I will get electrified," Sophie repeated, trying to force her mouth to say the phrase the right way. "It will feel like I will get electrified. It will feel like I will get electrified."

Keefe cackled. "What'd you give her? She sounds like a parrot."

"Only Nogginease!" Dex promised, scratching his head. "Maybe it's just a minor side effect."

"I should have gone to class. The bell rang," Fitz said.

"The bell isn't ringing," Biana told him.

"I knew!" Fitz argued. "I was saying that the bell might have rung!"

"Dex, what will you put in this?" Sophie demanded.

"I know something is happening. I should not drink one of your elixirs!" Biana wailed. "Class is starting!"

Keefe was laughing his head off. "You guys are all speaking in different verb tenses! Past, present, and future!"

"It wasn't funny!" Fitz growled. "You took it off, Dex!"

"But I don't know how!" Dex protested. "This wasn't supposed to happen! Maybe one of the triplets switched elixirs on me." The triplets (named Bex, Lex, and Rex) loved to pull pranks and torment their older brother.

"I am murdering them," Biana declared. "How am I doing class like this?" Just then, the bell tolled, indicating lunch was over and prodigies were expected to go to their next subjects.

"Keefe Sencen!" Dame Alina's sharp voice cut over the chatter of exiting prodigies. "I want to see you in my office, now!"

"You were in trouble," Fitz whistled.

Keefe did a mock bow. "I must leave your good company." He slunk out before Dame Alina could find him in the mess.

Fitz turned to Dex. "Dex, I murdered you, too. How did I get through Elementalism?"

"Pretend you have a voice problem from something you eat," Biana suggested. "Then don't answer questions. Dex, during study hall, you FIND A SOLUTION. I don't care if you ditch class."

Sophie groaned, getting up with her lunch tray. "I'll have session with Lady Cadence. She will hate me!"

"She already did," Fitz reminded her, following her to the tray drop off. "She couldn't have gotten any worse."

"Will this even be fixable?" Sophie worried.

They didn't have a chance to talk or hound Dex anymore, for the bell tolled again, warning them that they would be late if they dawdled any longer. Sophie rushed to her session. Being late for Lady Cadence's class in the elite silver tower guaranteed a detention and she did not want to be stuck peeling curdleroots.

Thankfully, she managed to trip through the door just as the late bell rang.

"I see you managed to get here in one piece. That's good," Lady Cadence droned, not getting up from her chair to greet Sophie. "Sit."

Sophie obeyed. The chair wasn't much better than the one Councilor Bronte used for their inflicting session, and she shifted to get comfortable.

"I expect you haven't been practicing your mimicking." Lady Cadence didn't even bother to ask, but Sophie had, in fact, been practicing.

"I will practice." Sophie frowned. That wasn't right. "I _will_ practice," she tried again. Oh, that stupid elixir.

"I didn't say to mimic yourself!" the mentor snapped. "Now." She pulled out a device that looked somewhat like a metronome.. "Repeat after me: My name is Sophie Foster."

"My name will be Sophie Foster," Sophie obediently parroted, wincing at how pathetic it sounded compared to Lady Cadence's real voice.

"My name _is_ Sophie Foster," Lady Cadence corrected, reading the machine. "I've seen toddlers with higher ratings."

"My name will be Sophie Foster." Sophie wanted to melt into the cold metal of the chair. Instead, she tugged out an eyelash.

"Is!"

"Will."

"Is!"

"Will." Sophie was going to kill Dex as soon as session was over.

Lady Cadence glared at her. "Since you seem to want to do this session later, I suggest you find yourself in detention tomorrow!"

Sophie nodded meekly, not daring to protest. It was going to be a long hour.

"Dexter Alvin Dizznee, you will be in serious trouble!" Sophie told him, throwing her books down on the table for study hall. "I will get detention."

"You did or you will?" Dex asked.

"Will! No, will!" Sophie groaned. "Will you find a cure?"

"I'm waiting for Fitz and Biana to get here. Keefe is still in Dame Alina's office. Something about gulons."

Sophie had figured that was where he would be.

Just then, Biana and Fitz came marching up to their table. "Do you find a cure?" Biana asked hopefully, sitting down.

"Yep!" Dex brought out three bottles. "I had to threaten the triplets, but I got it."

"Gave me one!" Fitz demanded.

"Wait a second," Biana said, stopping her brother from taking a swallow. "How do we know that these aren't jerry rigged like the first ones? The twins could be slipping something else into them."

"We'll not know." Sophie stared into the bottle. "I will guess that we will have to take the chance."

Fitz stuck his tongue out. "Well, cheered." The trio clinked bottles and drank. The elixir wasn't as electrifying as the first one and tasted like strawberries.

"Did it work?" Dex asked anxiously.

"It did!" Sophie cheered, finding that her tongue would finally cooperate.

"Phew!" Biana slouched down in her chair in relief.

"I guess I won't murder you after all, Deck." Fitz clapped Dex on the back.

"It's Dex," Dex corrected, although not with the usual venom.

"Hey, hey! I'm back!" Keefe plopped down at their table, interrupting their celebration. "How are my past, present, and future loyal subjects? Whoa – nice hair!"

"Hair?" Biana, who was peculiar about her looks, asked. "What's wrong with my hair?"

"Oh, no!" Sophie gasped, goggling at Biana's once brown locks. "Is that happening to my hair, too?"

"Is _what_ happening?" Fitz patted his head.

Looking at Fitz, Biana, and then Sophie, Keefe exclaimed, "Your guys' hair – it was - no will be – I mean, it _is_ turning into feathers!"

 _A/N: Essentially, this is yet another school assignment I had to write where one character spoke in the past, one spoke in the future, and the last one spoke in the present. This is my first full fanfiction devoted to Keeper, so I hope I got all of their characters right. And there are tons of errors, such as how many abilities Sophie/Dex has and Sophie's tutoring in the silver tower and midterms...I was under a deadline. :p Well, I've prattled on enough. Adios._

 _Rider_


End file.
